Sunday, April 8, 2007

I Can See For Miles And Miles

I'm finally done with the traveling for now, thank God. Sitting in a vehicle staring at hundreds of miles of nothing is enough to make anyone crazy, and as I sit pretty close to that edge under the best of circumstances, my family was taking good care to make sure that the insurance was paid up.

Highlights of my travels include:

Lying in bed on Monday, praying that I'd die before I had to get up.

The person who complained about the Indian casino on the grounds that "we shouldn't give our money to foreigners."

Lying in bed on Tuesday, praying that I'd die before I had to get up.

My son, who spent the week traveling with me, looking at me after I told him to start calling me "sir" and saying, "Alright. Sir Cumference."

Lying in bed on Wednesday, praying that I'd die before I had to get up.

Explaining to a skeptical but still horrified group of dinner companions that the recipe for bird poppers involves hollowing out baby waterfowl, filling them with cream cheese, and deep frying them.

Lying in bed on Thursday, praying that I'd die before I had to get up.

Hearing someone say, "The food is really bad here. And they don't give you nearly enough." Unfortunately, this person was not doing a one-man vaudeville retrospective.

Lying in bed on Friday, praying that I'd die before I had to get up.

Driving in an 90-minute circle on an unpaved county road because I trusted a map instead of my common sense.

Lying in bed on Saturday, guessing that I'd die now that I was past hoping for it.
It's nice to be home.

4 comments:

Jennifer said...

Glad you made it back home in one piece, even if a little less sane, Sir Cumference.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Gosh. The worst I do when I travel is think when I wake,

Kill those HR bastards when I return to the office!

Then again, I think that when I am home too.

Snag said...

My thoughts of murder are much more generalized than HR.

Chuckles said...

I like travel but I generally abhorr the people I meet.