Friday, February 29, 2008

In The Land Of Peat And Honey

Tonight several of us are off to a tasting at a nearby restaurant, with twenty single malts available for comparison. Surprisingly, our wives are less enthusiastic about this than one would guess.

"You're going with H., and O. to a Scotch drinking contest?" my Lovely Bride asked skeptically.

"It's not a contest," I said. "It's a tasting."

"It'll turn into a contest," said O.'s wife.

"That's a hurtful comment," I said.

"You'll be hurting Saturday morning," said the Lovely Bride. "Make sure you have cab fare, okay?"

"Don't worry, E.'s driving." E. doesn't drink.

"Perfect," said O.'s wife. "The Three Stooges won't have any incentive to be responsible."

"Why is E. going to a Scotch tasting?" the Lovely Bride asked.

"Because we're so much fun to be with?" I suggested.

"More likely because he's afraid he'll have to help raise our kids if you get killed in a car accident," she replied.

Even I recognize the folly of an outing like this on an empty stomach. H. and I have therefore made plans to eat at a different restaurant beforehand.

"Let me get this straight," said the Lovely Bride. "You're going to gorge yourself on liver and onions and then dump Scotch on top of it."

"I wouldn't put it quite like that," I said.

"Was my statement accurate?" she asked.

"It's your tone. You're being hurtful again. Why can't I have a hobby?"

"Most people don't consider cholesterol and liquor hobbies."

"Most people don't have my refined sensibilities."

"I have a lot to get done tomorrow," she said. "Do not come home and start singing if I'm asleep."

"I offer you the gift of music and this is the thanks I get," I said.

"The thanks you're going to get is a night on the couch."

"Our boys love me," I said.

"Maybe," she said. "Parental imprinting is genetic, though. Don't be too impressed with yourself."

I reached over and gave her a smooch on the cheek. "You're my snookums," I told her.

"I'll leave a blanket out for you," she said.

UPDATE: We tried: Clynelish 14 year, Glenkinchie 12 year, Cragganmore 12 year, Dalwhinnie 15 year, Oban 14 year, Talisker 1o year, Talisker Distillers, Caol Ila 12 year, Lagavulin 16 year, and Johnny Walker Green. The Glenkinchie, Dalwhinnie, and Lagavulin were my favorites but I don't like a ton of peat. The Talisker 10 year tasted like moose.

The evening began with prime rib and a side of lamb chops and ended with karaoke. Don't ask.


Jennifer said...

It's been nice knowing you, Snag.

Brando said...

Snag, you just have to tell your wife it's not a contest if everyone wins.

Brando said...

Also, I would be interested in hearing what was sampled.

fish said...

Most people don't consider cholesterol and liquor hobbies.

This is just completely wrong.

Jennifer said...

Fish, once again proving he does no work at work, he merely surfs the internetz for comment-appropriate links.

FYI- Stanley's Sausage Shop (and Liquor) should be Stanley's Sassage Shop (and Liquor). It is Chicago after all.

Kathleen said...

"It's not a contest, It's a tasting."


Kathleen said...

but at least with fish's links I have upcoming birthday present ideas.

Jennifer said...

"fish links"

Aren't those a breakfast food? Have they ever made fish sausage? Of course now fish will show up with 20 links to the variety of fish links on the market...

Kathleen- just tell me all of the b-days you need to remember and I'll email you a couple of days before to give you a heads up. I can't forget, even if I try.

Jennifer said...

And the internetz delivers again!

fish said...

You have learned well young padwan.

Snag said...

He had fish links posted over at his place earlier this week and even filthbot couldn't stand it.

Anonymous said...

Thanks, fish.

Snag, sometimes less is truly more.

fish said...

ven filthbot couldn't stand it

That was merely faux outrage, in the denouement, I was undone.

Mendacious D said...

I'm pretty sure the liver gets covered later. With single-malt.

Jennifer said...

SNAAAAAG!!! Are you AWAKE??! How was that Scotch "tasting"?? How's that liver, both yours and the one you ate?

It's morning, Snag!!! The sun is out. It's March, coming in like a lion!!


fish said...

I have been to the Dalwhinnie distillery. If you go they give you many samples for free. There really is a heaven.

Jennifer said...

The evening began with prime rib and a side of lamb chops and ended with karaoke. Don't ask.

Please tell me you kept your clothes on and never once donned a lampshade.

What songs did you sing, Snag?

Brando said...

I am on board with you on your Scotch choices. Talisker is like that scene in Braveheart where they pull arrow out of Hamish's father and he punches the guy in the face. It's both the pull and the punch.

Big fan of Dalwhinnie. Just behind Macallan as my favorite.