Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Is It Too Much To Ask?

Finally, I get a decent meal, some sesame crusted rare tuna with a nice glass of wine, talking to my boss, who's not a bad guy, when twenty middle-aged extremely white, extremely upper-middle-class men pour into the restaurant, fresh from some fucking golf tournament or some goddamn thing, half drunk and intent on getting drunker.

Inarticulate joke at obnoxious noise level. Uproarious stupid laughter. Repeat until everyone else in restaurant can't stand it.

Me to waitress. "I didn't realize there was an asshole convention in town."

She smiles nervously, anxious to save her tip. "Sorry, I'm sure they'll settle down in a minute."

They don't, of course, guys like this never do. My boss and I stick it out for a little longer and then leave. I go back to a stupid hotel bar to watch a baseball game and play bar bingo, God help me, but at least it's better than dealing with a bunch of smug, overfed shitheads.

Christ, if I'm like that, kill me please.

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

So I take it you prefer Nancy Grace and Glenn Beck over this?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Anyone taking odds on Republicanism?

smug, self-important jerks who have no ability to think of anyone but themselves have been resurgent for six years.

Hopefully, we can put some of them in jail.

Brando said...

Those guys sound whiter than Jennifer's William Sonoma sugar.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Funny, that's the kind of men I either:

A. Date
B. Are related to
C. Like to play with their heads and HR policies at the office

BP, it depends on the place and how preppy? Preppy RL bought full price or discount?

Brando: You win the comments thread. Again

Fucker.

Chuckles said...

This sounds like 95% of all 20-35 year olds in DC.

Which helps me win the ladies, let me tell you.

Kathleen said...

Me to waitress. "I didn't realize there was an asshole convention in town."

awesome. I would never have the nerve to say that in real life.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Which helps me win the ladies, let me tell you.

This coming from a guy who has no future Ms. Chuckles lined up that would agree to be such and has yet to show his epic wang of small proportions to RoD.

I smell crap like a rat in the sewer.

Anonymous said...

"Those guys sound whiter than Jennifer's William Sonoma sugar."

Again... thank GAWD Brando is not a smart ass!!

LOL! I need a coffee shield for my computer screen. :)

Anonymous said...

Brando uses a comment posting robot. I'm not impressed.

Just kidding.

Oh Snagsby, I would have just died if you had then said "so I went over there and pretended to be part of their group, repeating that I didn't get the joke and could someone please repeat it and staring at each one in turn as if they were big juicy møøse steaks."

Anonymous said...

"Is it too much to ask" for a new post??? Hmmmmmm???

I know you're working and have got your show on the road... "Lake Wazapamani, one night only! The Snag Moose and Blues Revue!" but still...

PUT UP A NEW POST... OR ELSE!!! It's been a heck of a week and I could use some laughs!

Brando said...

Brando uses a comment posting robot. I'm not impressed.

Sadly this is true. My circuits are only programmed for laughter, but I can never know this thing you call...love. *BOOP*