Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Working 9 To 5

The use of "working" animals is a growing trend, both at home and around the world. While dogs remain a favorite because of their keen sense of smell, loyalty, and delicate flavor, others are also gaining a foothold in our daily lives.

Fire Cows

Many cities are increasingly turning to the noble bovine as a firehouse companion. Besides sharing the Dalmatian's traditional coloring, fire cows combine courage, selflessness, and a surprisingly dry sense of humor. Saved by the bell? More like saved by a cow!

Mediation Weasels

When seemingly intractable interpersonal disputes arise, many people turn to the weasel. Blessed with profound wisdom and infinite supplies of patience, the weasel commands instant respect. Family court judges in particular find the weasel an excellent resource in child custody matters.

Border Crows

Although crows have long been favored companions of celebrities and the ultra-rich, they were originally bred as winged ranch hands. Watching a border crow herd his charges down a western mountain trail is one of the quintessential American experiences. Giddy-yup, little fella!

Guard Squid

More than a handful of intruders have come to regret trying to burgle an establishment protected by one of these ferociously territorial animals. While they are gentle and affectionate to those with whom they're familiar, they are equally capable of snaring and digesting those who are perceived as a threat. If the sign says "Beware of Squid," you'd better believe it!

Search and Rescue Badgers

As one of Nature's gentlest creatures, the badger is ideally suited for locating lost children. One can only imagine the sense of relief a young person would feel upon seeing a badger's cockeyed grin lope into sight. No wonder they're a favorite visitor at nursing homes.

Yes, animals remain companions, friends, and meat. More and more, however, they are also colleagues. So, be careful how you treat our animal friends - someday you may be working for one!


Elmo said...

I forgot how cuddly badgers were...

Anonymous said...

"While dogs remain a favorite because of their keen sense of smell, loyalty, and delicate flavor"


And, is the firehouse cow merely a way to make retribution for all of the years spent blaming Mrs. O'Leary's cow for starting the Chicago fire?

I will, however, be getting a "Beware of Squid" sign for my backyard. Does it matter that I live nowhere near salt water?

Nice post, Snag. Right up there with the moose and meat exposes. I might have suggested switching the title to "Working Canine to Five"...

Anonymous said...

I have never wanted anything more than I want a pet badger. That would teach this damn cat a little gratitude! I'd walk him around the apartment complex on a pink leash studded with pink rhinestones. I'll call him Fluffy!

Anonymous said...

Alright, Snag! You've got a link from 3 Bulls! That made-for-tv movie is right around the corner!

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
Right On!

They say this cat Snag is a bad mother
I'm talkin' 'bout Snag.

He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
Mr. Snag!

Snag said...

Res and Elmo,

Someday the badger shall be yours.


Your genius knows no bounds.

Brando said...

Snag, I have a guard squid just to protect my Jules Verne memorabilia.

Michael Bains said...

I mis-read the 2nd as Meditation Weasles and immediately ordered one off E-Bay.

Ahhh... well. Hopefully it'll be as tasty as dog.

Chuckles said...