Monday, April 9, 2007

Parent Of The Year, Part 5

We're not too faithful, if you will, about the religion stuff around here. I think my kids were inside a house of worship once, to see a relative baptised or something, but I can't even swear to that.

I had the best intentions early on. Although I'm not much of a believer myself, I thought it would be good for children to at least get the cultural information that comes from some kind of religious training. Then they were born, weekend mornings started coming earlier and earlier, and another set of best intentions went right out the window. I've instead devoted my life to being such an outstanding role model that there is no need for them to get formalized spiritual instruction.

[Pause for laughter.]

For the most part, it's worked out pretty well. The boys seem honest, caring, respectful, all the things that I'd hope for as a parent. The only thing sometimes missing is the cultural information. A lot of it's been picked up through forums other than church; for example, you'd be amazed how much can be learned about biblical history by listening to Ned Flanders on "The Simpsons." Once in a while, though, there are gaps.

Yesterday, one of our kids started calling around, trying to find a friend who could play. We warned him that people were going to be busy because of Easter.

"What's the big deal about Easter?" he asked.

"You know who Jesus is?"

"I'm not stupid," he replied.

"Well, Christians believe that Easter is the day when Jesus rose from the dead."

"You mean Jesus was a zombie?"

He hasn't burst into flames yet. I suppose that's a good sign.


Anonymous said...

I agree that you lose out on a lot of references when you don't have that religious background. I try to explain where I can, but I can tell, my kids really aren't getting it.

As for Zombie Jesus... we realized our daughter had missed something in the translation when on one Good Friday, she wondered why people kept killing that man and why no one was stopping it?? She then asked why would he want to rise from the dead only to be killed again and again??? We tried to do a better job of explaining it that time.

Chuckles said...

I can say that you are raising your kids in exactly the right way.

Of course, I have yet to have any kids of my own, so what do I know? I am one of the foremost zombie experts among my friends, so I know a bit.

Snag said...

Kids, meet Sister Jennifer and Father Chuckles. They'll be your new online Sunday school teachers. Best of luck.

Righteous Bubba said...

Well kids, about 30 years after the most powerful being in existence traveled through the vagina of a peasant, he decided it would be good to be nailed to a piece of wood and die. Three days later he realized that was a bad idea and came alive again. Therefore bunnies bring chocolate.

Anonymous said...

At first I thought RB said "vagina of a pheasant"...