Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Coach Of The Year, Part 1

I ask my youngest tonight, "Hey, that boy I hit in the eye with the ball yesterday. How's he doing?"

"I don't know. Our teacher said he wasn't at school today because he couldn't see."

Great. I've blinded a kid. I call his parents.

"Hi, it's Coach Snag. How's he doing?"

His dad says, "Oh, he's alright. It's just that the eye closed up overnight so we kept him home for the day. His headache's pretty much gone, though, so he should be back at practice tomorrow night."

Blinded him and fractured his skull. I'm feeling good about myself.

"Do you want me to give him a ride to practice tomorrow, save you a trip?" I ask.

Long pause.

"No. No, really, we're good."

"You sure?" I ask. Like they're going to let their son get in my car after this.

"Yes," his father answers, probably thinking, More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life.

I wouldn't expect to see the boy again except they bought him a nice new glove a few weeks ago. Last night, after consoling his son and getting him back on the field, the dad said, "I paid a lot of money for that glove. I don't care what happens, this year he plays baseball."

A parent after my own heart.


Anonymous said...

Oh great. Snag was the coach that rotated Pinko in and out of right field!


Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but just reading *Coach Snag* had me spitting out my coffee and imagining all kinds of scary creatures.

"Why yes, Bobby! It's safe to get in the Coach Snagmobile..."

Chuckles said...

Sounds almost exactly like the conversations I had with my mom about not going back to practice. She said that there was no way I was getting out of baseball.

Man, I hated that spring.

Anonymous said...

And from what AG has heard, Pinko spends a lot of time on the right and smacking boys on their bottoms.

Chuckman adds a new question. Why do parents force their kids to do stuff they don't like. Just give 'em a flashlight, a laundry basket and baby doll and they are all set!

Snag said...

I make my kids do this because I wanted to be a major league ballplayer and my failure at that goal means I need to live through them.

Anonymous said...

"Why do parents force their kids to do stuff they don't like. Just give 'em a flashlight, a laundry basket and baby doll and they are all set!"

I hear ya, AG! In all seriousness though, there is A LOT of pressure to have your kids in all things at all times. There is also the parent who knows their kid will love something, but just needs to get over a hump... or learn to deal with coach brutality....

Chuckles said...

I got hit with three pitches that spring. I got so scared of batting that I couldn't swing.

Anonymous said...

I don't know. AG's mother had a few ideas about what AG would love and AG hated them all. What AG loved, AG mother hated driving AG to several times a week.

Oh well...