Monday, February 9, 2009

The Devil's In The Details

My oldest son recently took practice tests for his college entrance exams. Having inherited his brains from the Lovely Bride, he did well.

He must have checked a box on a form somewhere requesting information from interested colleges. As a result, he's getting bombarded with emails. Having inherited his cynicism from me, he's taking it with a grain of salt.

"Who've you heard from?" I asked him.

"I don't know. Schools," he said.

"Forward them to me," I told him. "I'm curious."

He did. Emory. Columbia. Swarthmore. Iowa. Washington. Boston. Duke.

"Duke!" my youngest shrieked when he heard. "I can't believe it, you're being recruited by Duke!"

"They don't want me to play basketball, you moron," said the oldest.

The youngest continued to chatter. "You're going to be a Blue Devil!"

"God, he's stupid," the oldest said to me.

I shrugged.

"I'm going to UNC," the youngest said.

"Why? Do they have a good hobo program?" I asked.

Before he could answer our puppy attacked him.

"Cujo, kill," I urged.

He began rolling on the kitchen floor with her.

"He'll be lucky to get into middle school," said his brother.

"As long as we get him out of the house someday," I said.

46 comments:

Karla said...

So, just about as often as I see 'The Deveil's in the details' I see 'God's in the details'. Anyone know the origin? It reminds me in an odd way of words that mean both one thing and that thing's opposite - like 'cleave'.

Jennifer said...

Wasn't "God is in the details" a Mies van der Rohe quote?

rotten mcdonald said...

Don't ask me....

fish said...

I was recruited by the Newark Institute of Spam Technology and the Mechanicsville Community College and Tastee Freeze.

rotten mcdonald said...

I was HEAVILY pursued by Joliet....

Kathleen said...

"Nooooo, I won't be a Gamecock."

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AG is voting for Columbia unless your kid is a goy.

No offense but AG likes her upperwest side to remain a pogrom. It just makes it easier for when AG is looking to get schtupped.

Righteous Bubba said...

So did Cujo kill or what? The suspense is unbearable.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't dog Snag, RB.

Jennifer said...

I can't wait to hear the stories of when Young Snag comes home from school and brings along AG for the Sunday dinner. Maybe she'll bring you a magnet, Snag!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

umm, AG, Snag lives in the Midwest.

What are the odds they are of the Tribe?

I DO want to see the Snaglet-AG hookup though....

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Um, Billy Pilgrim:

Southfield, MI
Chicago, IL
STL, MO
Dayton, OH
Twin Cities, MN
Cleveland, OH

All substantial Jew populations. Goya-oh-boya! A little Jew searching on the Internets would be nice! You know because, hospitals, universities, and law firms are there and Hollywood only needs so many of tribe.

Just because you're back-asswards in WI, don't project on us. And have you not been paying attention?!! AG is schtupping something Jewish and south. La. La.

Bottom line, if a Snaglet is at Columbia and over 18, AG is free to hit that. And J-Lo is correct, she'll bring a magnet back for Snag and a shot glass for the Missus -- gotta make sure the future inlaws are taken care of.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't dump on me, missy.

I live in a very Jew-intensive part of Milwaukee, In fact, some of my favorite clients are Tribish. In fact, I once did some preliminary development work on a couple different iterations of a Jewish Heritage Museum in Milwaukee, so don't be all snippy.

I am PERFECTLY aware of Jewish Presence in the Midwest. I welcome my Tribal Neighbors. I design houses for them. I give them music.

Just sayin that the odds are, you know, not betting good.

HAVING SAID THAT. I have been informed that I am completely off base on this one and retract all my former AG-bashing.

Abashed Zombee is Abashed.

Also, identity politics. Hmpf.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Man, did we make a mess of Snag's family room.

He's goin to be PISSED when he gets home from work.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Also:

Having inherited his brains from the Lovely Bride...

Nom nom nom.

Jennifer said...

I was so busy reading comments over here that I forgot to work on his letter for the day. I think it was Q. I think we'll have to move it to the end. Actually, I think Q is like an appendix... no longer needed... it's a vestigial letter.

Snag said...

One can only imagine the holidays around the Snag shtetl with my new AG daughter-in-law. I'll whip up a nice batch of bacon hamantashen and we'll invite the whole gang over.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I recommend applying to the following five collages:

Michigan State, Boston, Harvard, Yale, Princeton.

P.S. Make sure all applications are sent in late.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Don't forget Bob Jones...

Jennifer said...

LOL!!! I spit out my beverage at Bob Jones.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I imagine that going to BJU would take care of any potential AG hookup...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

How does Bob Jones' Hobo Program stack up to Yale's?

Because while I do not know about Bob Jones's (Joneses'? Jonesies? Jonesies and the Pussycats'?) Hobo Program, I can assure you that Yale's is 2nd to none.

Also, I have several friends who could supply testimonials, if only I could find the refrigerator boxes they currently reside in.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I can't believe i missed this one. I may have to turn in my Grammar Zombie credzs:

five collages

How about these:

http://www.artasauthority.com/images/Joey%20Burns.jpg
http://www.austinkleon.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/insomniac.jpg
http://www.artistaday.com/wp-content/ann_olivia77457474.jpg
http://www.madprofessor.net/200606291642.jpg
http://www.yarddog.com/component/page,shop.product_details/flypage,shop.flypage/product_id,517/category_id,45/manufacturer_id,0/option,com_virtuemart/Itemid,4/

And also:

http://www.jonathanyeo.com/gallery.asp

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Collage is also watching you, ZRM
~

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Feck Harvard! Seriously.

I design houses for them. I give them music.

Oh well thank goodness for your kindness to my peeps. What would we listen to in the ghettos if it wasn't for BP giving us music?!!

J-Lo: Q is next!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q is for queasy -- that's how AG feels in the AMs.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

P.S. AG hates kashrut. She refuses to follow it. Feck that! It's 2009.

However, AG won't eat pork and she hates Jew food.

So, she'll just bring some red velvet cupcakes from the upper west when flying out to the shtetl.

Does your wife have a problem with AG getting some action in his former high school bedroom?!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Oh well thank goodness for your kindness to my peeps. What would we listen to in the ghettos if it wasn't for BP giving us music?!!

sheesh, AG, who put sand in your lube today? WTF did I say wrong?

you came down on me for my supposed ignorance of Midwestern Jews, and I pointed out, with a bit of humor and referring to something I said once in a post, that I indeed have friends, neighbors and clients who are Jews, and that I was hopefully being a bit facetious on my comments about the Midwest.

To which you responded with ugly sarcasm.

So I apologize profusely for being wrong about everything I said.


Now, please respond so you can have the last word and we will have done with it.

Sheesh, i guess I have one less Jewish friend than I thought.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Sweetie, if we don't have sarcasm, what do we have after the sex is gone?

Snag said...

Okay, as proprietor of this blog, and recipient of said music, I am quite certain none of the aforementioned posters (i.e., ones who post, as opposed to that which is posted) are anti-semitic, just as I am certain no such implication was intended.

Please, everyone, have a drink, settle down, and we'll return to our regularly scheduled brain eating.

fish said...

What's all this about anti-smite? I am pretty sure most people are anti-smite, unless the person really needs to be smitten.
Wait what?
Oh.
Never mind.

Jennifer said...

Fish Litella

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Once Smitten, Twice Bi.
~

Adorable Girlfriend said...

No doubt, Snag. Mandos isn't here. Or another blogger who once had a little gem I walked away from.

I'm smitten, ya bastard! Now stop ignoring AG and share the love at the Empire.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

BP, we are friends and lovers and that will hopefully never change. I have such a heart on for you, even if you go to DC and unlike Snag, tell C-dawg not to invite AG because you are scared.

Geesh. Does Z-unit not share the AG love with you?

Snag said...

And, as proprietor of this blog, I'm equally certain none of the other aforementioned posters are anti-semitic. Nor was any such implication intended, I'm sure.

With that, let's get back to the alphabet, shall we?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I'm sorry, Snag.

Q!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snag said...

It's all good.

However, AG, if I remember right, which I do, it was you who rejected our offerings of a night of beer and chili dogs.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Snag, I couldn't make it to the District in time. It was that you offered! BP told C not to invite me! (People tell AG's the truth.)

QQQQQQQQQQ!!!!!!!!!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Truth:

I had contact info for C; once contacted, arranging the DC participants was in his hands.

C, Clif, and Clif's unbearably cute dog showed up, we got our drink on until the trains stopped running.

As I recall, AG was OUT OF TOWN. AG is a popular jet-setting type, we understand that.

Scared of AG? Pshaw. It seems to me that AG is scared of the Midwestern Bloggers. 2 data points; 2 no-shows.

Brando said...

Snag, I vote state school for the oldest. I have gotten more career advancement out of being able to hold my liquor than what I learned in school. I have my taxpayer-subsidized education to thank for that.

Mandos said...

*BOOP*

Snag said...

Welcome Mandos. Long time no see.

Mandos said...

Not that long. :) I think I commented on TAASM "C" or "D".

I was just booping at AG because it's the only meaningful response.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I was wondering what happens to a thread after it's been *BOOPED*...
~

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I did not know about the second visit. Thus, it cannot be determined if I was out of town.

Now when are we getting to Q?! Don't be such a hater and give it up already. AG also wants R!