Sunday, December 21, 2008

A Christmas Letter - 2008


Well, it's another year under the Snag family belt. There's been a lot going on. Enough so that I had to visit the Big and Tall Section for this year's holiday pantsuit. Let's catch up!

January started things off with a bang, thanks The Anarchist's Cookbook. Live and learn, I always say - I had no idea reconstructive surgery has progressed so far!

February gave us leap year and what better way to celebrate than by leaping? The dog struggled at first, but finally grew to love the homemade parachute we made out of paper towels and an old toothpaste tube. Air Bud has nothing on us!

March was in like a lion and out like a lamb. Literally, as our home gene splicing business really took off. Besides the extra income, it's significantly reduced the stray cat problem in the neighborhood!

April Fools! That's what we told the SWAT team, anyway. There's always a silver lining, though; the mug shots made family portrait and the delousing station got the children cleaner than they'd been in months!

May Day is still one of our most festive holidays here at Snag House. Stalin's still my personal favorite (you know me, always the traditionalist) and this year's parade of homemade weaponry past our front yard viewing stand was the best ever!

June got here just in time for the annual family vacation! Within hours of the final school bell we had the mule packed and were on the road. This year's "Grand Tour" included informal archaeological digs at an abandoned cemetery and catfish noodling on Oklahoma's scenic Lake Bellcow. That was some darn good eatin'! In both cases!

July wouldn't be complete without an old fashioned 4th of July celebration! Juggling monkeys, a battalion of argonauts, and homemade pruno for the kids combined for a truly memorable spectacle. Happy Birthday America!

August is the dog days around here. I spent most of the month submerged in the backyard swamp, only coming up to feed on Sunday nights. The prolonged immersion left me with a glossy pelt and mentally refreshed - I highly recommend it!

September means the beginning of school and there's nothing the kids like better than showing off their fashion sense. We were able to find a wide variety of masks this time around; the boys can look their best and still comply with all applicable court orders!

October wouldn't be much of anything without Halloween so imagine how embarrassed we were when we found out Jack O'Lantern wasn't a real person. Our apologies to Jack's family and we promise to check next time before we start to carve!

November is a special month and we had a lot to be thankful for this time around; the successful hanta virus treatment, a fresh litter of polecat whelps, the wit and wisdom of Art Linkletter. Even though our youngest got his head stuck in the turkey on Thanksgiving Day, we managed a festive meal of Gardetto's and Snik Snak's fresh from the emergency room's vending machine. Good times and good memories!

December, well that's just the best. The aroma of tallow and baleen, the sound of happy orphans stoking the furnace, there's nothing like it in the world. Best of all, family and friends like you, people who can always be counted on for a bright smile and a sizable contribution!

Wishing you a happy and hypoallergenic New Year,

The Snags


Jennifer said...

Back at ya, Snag!

fish said...

In the DC area, spending August submerged in a swamp sounds quite nice...

Jennifer said...

only coming up to feed on Sunday nights

Those Sunday nights are tasty and worth coming up for!

Anonymous said...

Happy Happy, emmm efffers!

Anonymous said...

I think November sounds the best month of them all.... Hope 2008 is better than 2007. that's what I'm drinkin for!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Happy Christmess, Snagg Bunch!!

Kathleen said...

it's been quite a year!!