Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Whither Snag?

Now that the stupid voters have failed in their democratic duty to elect me, I need to find something else to do. I'm thinking a nice cushy job in the Obama administration would be just the ticket. Rotten already has dibs on the Ministry of Hemp, but I've seen a few other openings that intrigue me.

1. Department of Defense - Director of Weapons Testing
This position has direct responsibility for blowing stuff up. Oversees shooting other stuff. In addition, may occasionally be requested to contaminate stuff.

2. Department of Agriculture - Undersecretary of Meat
This person will oversee the George A. Hormel Meat Lab located on the campus of Northeastern Oklahoma A&M College. Subordinate agencies include the Bureau of Ham and the Department of Butchery. Experience in meat design is required.

3. Central Intelligence Agency - Secret Agent
Go away before we kill you.

4. Department of Transportation - Deputy for Gondola Affairs
This highly visible position manages compliance with gondola construction standards, develops and administers gondolier training, and serves as a liaison to various state and national gondola associations.

5. Internal Revenue Service - Senior Inquisitor
This position is responsible for locating and extracting hidden taxpayer assets. Applicants must provide their own Ginsu knives and a washable smock.


Righteous Bubba said...

I hear the Abstinence Education Czar has a budget for investigating things you should abstain from.

Kathleen said...

Moose Ambassador?

Righteous Bubba said...

That's Mooseter ambassador.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I am laying down money that Pelosi and a few others expose the Bush Adminstration hard in about 85 days. I want his tuckus to be tried like Ollie North's! AG is willing to be Chief Counsel for that case.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I think I would take that bet AG.

I don't think Pelosi and Reid want to have everything opened up. Either they feel there's too much Democratic complicity, or they think they can avoid the oncoming Republican Obstructionism Fest by no pissing them off...

Yeah, I don't think Pelosi is going to be all that. I would take that bet. If I had any money.

fish said...

IRS, I am imagining a scene from Dexter now...

Anonymous said...

I think they have to because someone needs to explain just WTF happened over the past 8 years. Once Bush is gone, they have nothing to be afraid of and since most people think politics are a joke, it might actually help them.

Call me a dreamer, but we have an AA President now. What next do you challenge me to dream about? President Hillary?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

OK, you're a dreamer.

So, just WHY do they have to explain anything? What is the mechanism for compelling this investigation? why are they not just as likely to want to put it behind them, move on, let bygones etc...?

I don't see why they would change their behavior. The election's over and they don't believe we've got any levers to move them. other than sending Snag to Washington with a bunch of moose heads.