Monday, April 21, 2008

The Fourth Law

"Did you know Tiger Woods is a robot?" my youngest son's best friend asked me.

"What?" I asked.

"A robot," he said. "That's why he wins so many tournaments."

"Have you been smoking crack?"

"We learned about crack in the D.A.R.E. program."

"They're not supposed to hand out samples. Who told you about Tiger?"

"He did," said the boy, pointing at my oldest son, who pretended to work innocently on his homework.

When his dad stopped by to pick him up the kids were downstairs playing football or something equally destructive. I repeated the story.

"That explains why he was so interested in robots a couple weeks ago," his father said.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"That there were a lot more of them out there than he realized. I told him some of his classmates were probably robots."

"Really?" I asked.


"That's brilliant."

"Thanks," he said modestly.


Jennifer said...

Wasn't Stepford Athletes a sequel?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

He's going to be awfully screwed up when he reads Vonnegut.

fish said...


Out of respect for Snag's place, I won't make the comment I am now thinking.

Snag said...

fish, if you've got respect for this place, you're the only one. Comment away.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

That kid is genius. Start the Yale apps now!

fish said...

It is going to be difficult to explain to your kids friends that they don't really have a penis that is 3miles long and 1 mile wide, most of which is in the 4th dimension.
I was disappointed to discover this may not actually be true for me.