Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Cruella Snag

By 5:20 p.m. I had bought my middle kid a new set of shin guards for soccer. They'll go nicely with the new shoes he gets in a few weeks.

By 5:50 p.m. he was complaining that my failure to buy him a second snack from the vending machine at my oldest son's tennis lesson proved I didn't love him.

By 7:30 p.m. I'd been to the grocery to spend the equivalent of a weekend away with the Lovely Bride on Pop-Tarts and Oreos. No substitutions allowed.

By 8:30 p.m. the youngest was griping because he didn't get McDonald's for dinner with this brothers. The reason he didn't is because he was playing basketball at the gym with his best friend. After his best friend's dad bought him dinner at McDonald's.

By 10:00 p.m. they were in bed and I was arranging a trip for them over spring break.

By tomorrow they will have a whole new set of grievances. They got nothing on me.

9 comments:

fish said...

Well, at least the slow poisoning is going according to plan. I expect my children will have heart problems and diabetes by the age of 35. Then victory will be mine.

We should have been sending Castro Happy Meals instead of embargoing him.

Brando said...

Festivus at the Snag Abode would be pretty entertaining. Would the airing of grievances last longer than Chanukah?

Snag said...

Around here grievances are a lifestyle, not a season.

Chuckles said...

I recommend that you start taking them on Wandertags. Days of hiking through the woods with no food or water or map or trail or hope of survival. My parents did this for us and we were grateful to merely survive the day.

It also helps if McDonalds makes them violently ill. I think my parents put something in my hamburgers.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

fish is right.

Importing McDonald's has destroyed greater countries than Cuba. So far, the only one to successfully resist has been France.

All your diatribes are for naught, Snagglepuss. We all know you're a big ol softy.

Still, your kids will probably put you in a cheap home when you're senile; because really, how much tolerance will they have for somebody who smells like bacon and mutters about moose all the time?

Jennifer said...

Is that "sending Castro, Happy Meals or is that "Castro Happy Meals"? Do you get camo-toys and a fake beard in "Castro Happy Meals"?

Also, that's bordering on Snacktator rights infringement fish... your lawyers will be notified.

Righteous Bubba said...

Pop-Tarts

My father once tried to cure me of Pop-Tart addiction by buying me a shopping cart full of them.

I love that guy.

Kathleen said...

I am pretty sure the fact you haven't invented a way to distribute pop tarts to us over the internets shows that you don't love your commenters either.

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