Monday, October 1, 2007

Goaaal!

AG's got this goal thing going on over at her place, a revealing look at what she hopes to accomplish in the coming years. "What are your goals?" she asks, not having thought through the implications of directing a question like that to a general public that includes me.

Without further ado, what I hope to accomplish before I turn 59:

1. Turn 58.

2. Discover a new femur.

3. Have my record expunged.

4. Meet an ornithologist.

5. Become the second-best jai alai player in my zip code.

6. Teach a møøse to yodel.

7. Knit a blintz.

8. Adopt a nomenclature.

9. Develop a broader market for my home-based genetic splicing business.

10. Remain the envy of all who know me.

I better get cracking.

7 comments:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Develop a broader market for my home-based genetic splicing business.

Never, ever, never, reveal that in front of UC, Dinko and Fish.

Trust AG on this one.

And Moose yodeling is so-o 1992.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

My only remaining goal is to make AG eat a chili dog.

And if that goal cross breeds with your moose yodeling, well, so much the better. Two emu with one grapefruit chupacabra, as it were.

Anonymous said...

"I better get cracking".

If you were Hillary, you'd get cackling. :)

Adorable Girlfriend said...

My only remaining goal is to make AG eat a chili dog.

Billy, did you miss AG's first Passover with UC post a few years ago?

That pretty much tells you what a Jewessa will go to avoid teh Jew food. You have no idea how much more an AG loathes hot dogs.

Seriously.

More.

They don't even fecking compare in the hate category. And y'all have heard AG talk about brisket.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

That pretty much tells you what a Jewessa will go to avoid teh Jew food. You have no idea how much more an AG loathes hot dogs.

This paragraph cracks me up. I have no idea what AG is trying to say here.

I can't even say it out loud without making the ghost of my old English teacher whack me upside the head.

I can't get over it.

Anonymous said...

AG won't even eat gefilte fish?

fish said...

Develop a broader market for my home-based genetic splicing business.

Consider me customer #1.

I await delivery on my moose-sized les cuisses de grenouilles.