Thursday, September 13, 2007

Happy Birthday To You

I successfully avoided watching the President's speech by coaching soccer, so that was a nice win-win for everyone, with the possible exception of the soccer team. On the way home, my youngest informed me he needed to buy a birthday present for the party he's going to for a friend who's turning ten this weekend. I'm a flexible, generous person and told my son he could pick any of the following to give as a gift.

1. A handgun
2. Three pounds of ground beef, extra lean
3. A monkey
4. Edith Piaf's La Vie en Rose
5. A bag of magnesium hydride
6. Twelve expired lottery tickets
7. A plastic candelabra
8. The New American Poetry Anthology
9. One quart of clotted cream
10. A femur
That should eliminate the need to buy another gift next year.


Anonymous said...

Snag dear... Edith Piaf's La Vie en Rose is so last year. My 7 yr-old went to 3 Piaf-themed partays... And after looking at your choice of gifts again I am thinking, what? No llamas? No chili dogs?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

A free banning.

Anonymous said...

A MONKEY? That is like the best possible gift any ten year old boy could IMAGINE! I would have DIED OF HAPPINESS if I got a monkey for my tenth birthday! In fact, I STILL want a monkey!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

A down llama jacket?

A monkey is great for all occasions and ages, Res. You have heard about AG's pet monkey Marlboro who kicks potential dates asses and bans everyone but Billy P, haven't you?

Chuckles said...

Definitely a chili dog. I'll send a few dozen to you at bulk rate.

fish said...

Everyone knows that extra lean ground beef doesn't taste that good and is difficult to cook right. I am beginning to suspect you might be setting your son up for failure here...

Snag said...

If you send me chili dogs, they're not going anywhere except down my gullet.

As for you Res, I'll start the monkey import process now and hope to have one in hand for you by next birthday.

Anonymous said...

how about a recalled chinese plastic toy from mattell?

what are the chinese going to do? enjoy it?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

AIF, is banned!

Banned, banned, banned!

Kathleen said...

sounds like Christmas!!

Brando said...

Well, if he gets #1, he can get #2-10.

That's the American way.

Anonymous said...


PP told me NOT to show you this, because you would be thinking double grillin'.

Is that true?

How could you grill to die for cute?

Snag said...

Brando wins. The boy will get not only a present but a valuable life lesson.

Thanks to you too BG. Have you ever heard of turducken? It comes to mind for some reason.

Anonymous said...

You're going to hell, Snag... where you'll be the Snagducken roasting on the spit.

Kathleen said...

its a Snagmoosen.

a chicken stuffen inside a Snag stuffed inside a moose.

Righteous Bubba said...

1. A handgun

When oh when will the manufacturers of footguns catch a break?