Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Friends In Advertising Would Be So Proud

On reflection, I see last night's post could be read as referring to a family budget discussion. Ha! That would require such a discussion take place. No, this was about an organizational budget, one that affects people outside of my precious bloodline, people who aren't as lucky as my hellish brood.

Case in point. Tonight it was time to argue about shoes.

My two youngest are both trying out for traveling basketball this year. The middle one played last year and presumably will again. The youngest, it's the first year he's eligible. Notwithstanding the best efforts of my Lovely Bride and I to get him to stick with in-house for another year or two, he won't be swayed.

For those of you who don't know the difference, and there's no reason you should unless you've somehow found yourself parenting a bunch of kids (in which case you have my sympathy), in-house is more casual, one game a week against other teams from our community. Traveling is more competitive, involving tournaments all over the metropolitan area. It's expensive and exhausting. I like watching the games, but at one time in my life I used to like going to concerts and being an adult. So it goes.

Anyway, traveling basketball it is, if they make the teams. Which, in the tiny little brain of my youngest, apparently demands the most expensive shoes.

"I need Wade 2.0s," he told me when I got home from a late meeting tonight. "For basketball. Traveling, you know."

"Those cost $80. Not going to happen."

He threw himself down on the stairs. "Don't you want me to play basketball?"

"Your mother just wrote out a check for registration fees that cost more than my first car."

"You'd just spend it on beer," he said. Smart kid. "Besides, eighty dollars isn't that much," he said. Which tells you something unpleasant about my kids.

"Fine, then you pay for them," I replied. "I just bought you new cleats for fall soccer." A season, I might add, that I once again got talked into coaching. Another two nights a week I won't be going to concerts.

"I don't have enough money," he said.

"No shit," I answered, prompting a glare from my Lovely Bride. "I don't have enough money either."

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked.

"Knit some goddamned shoes, I don't care," I answered.

"Mom," he shrieked. "Dad's being a jerk."

"Alright, alright," I said. "Let's go look and see what's for sale on the internet."

So we did. I saw a few things more in the price range I was thinking, and we'll go shopping in person this weekend. In the meantime I offered to get him some pink Crocs, just to piss him off. It worked. When we go to the stores this weekend, I'll offer him cheap plastic shoes with cartoon characters and he'll demand Wade 2.0s. We'll eventually compromise somewhere in the middle. He may not learn much about basketball or teamwork or sportsmanship, but he'll damned well understand negotiation by the time we're done.


Anonymous said...

I say you get him some "Hello Kitty" shoes.

Anonymous said...

This post is hysterical, you mommy blogger, you. Prepare for the wrath of The Uncanny Canadian!

Let us know how the shopping trip goes.

Blue Kid told me last week that he had his "shopping cart" ready and wanted to know my email address.

Got his email -- I think the store was Urban Outfitters.

His shopping cart totalled $478.00! I was in shock. Guess what I did?





There wasn't even the "teaching moment" of how to negotiate.

Anonymous said...

You know, it just dawned on me... this post is missing bacon. Where's that bacony je ne sais quoi???

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

You poor, poor man.

You don't realize that 80 bucks is only mid-range in sneaker prices.

I say you Dump it all and go on tour with Wilco. I'll pick up the tour in Chicago; we'll call it the Liquored Moose Giant tour

Pinko can bring the bacon. Keep it away from the Play-doh.

Chuckles said...

Man, my parents didn't have this problem with me. I was too busy working for my spending money to be on any teams. I worked many yards, walked many dogs and tossed many papers. I rarely had any free time. It was a lot like now.

And blue girl, you should never let your son shop at Urban Outfitters, simply because it is so fucking tacky. Make him work for it.

Snag said...

I thought about buying him a "Hello Kitty" baseball glove this spring, but couldn't justify spending $20 on a joke, even if some of the other dads in the neighborhood offered to split the cost.

Chuckles, your parents are clearly better people than I am, although that's a pretty low bar. Mine were the same way though; I asked my dad for a car once and he threw the help wanted ads at me.

As for the Wilco world tour - count me in.

Kathleen said...

I can't believe Jennifer commented twice and didn't even MENTION nude models!!!

Brando said...

Snag, don't you know that if you're not spending at least a Benjamin on shoes, you're not really ballin'? You're laboring under that old-fashioned notion that the talent you possess is more important than the shoes you wear.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

But the REAL controversy brewing in this post:

Snag, you have friends in ADVERTISING??!!!!??

Kathleen said...

of course Blue Kid's bill was $500, BG! He needs three pairs of socks a day!

Anonymous said...

Did someone say, NUDE MODELS?!?!?! :)

I can't wait for all of the future Google searches coming to may place! It'll be a veritable cornucopia o' perviness.

Anonymous said...

But the REAL controversy brewing in this post:

Snag, you have friends in ADVERTISING??!!!!??

Shut up, bp!@