Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Pride Of The Neighborhood

The Lovely Bride and my hellish brood will be away for the weekend, leaving me with nothing but despair. That said, I'll have to find a way to fill my empty hours. Although I'm not yet sure how I'll do that, these are some of the things I'm considering:

1. Books

There are many great books I haven't read: "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius; "New Poems" by D.H. Lawrence; "Praise of Idleness" by Bertrand Russell. I could while away the hours in their company, sipping tea and listening to the Brandenburg Concertos with Katie the Wonder Dog at my feet.

Odds of this happening: 1:250,000

2. Museums

I am within reasonable driving distance of any number of great art works, both modern and classical. Picasso, Rembrandt, Close, Asian sculpture, woven folk art, it's all there in front of me. I could float from gallery to gallery, stopping only for respite at one of the delightful cafés along the way.

Odds of this happening: 1:97,000

3. Theater

I love theater. This weekend I have choices ranging from Noël Coward to "a raw look at what sexual violence and pornography are, and how they function in people's lives in a male-centric society." All of it compelling and rich.

Odds of this happening: 1:5,000

4. Live Music

I don't see nearly enough live music anymore. This weekend we've got your classical, your alt-rock, your alt-country, your country-alt, your jazz, your prog, your classic rock, what the hell, you've probably got the Beatles playing somewhere.

Odds of this happening: 1:100

5. Sitting On Ass

I have a full liquor cabinet and a full refrigerator. I own fifteen movies I haven't watched. I pay for premium cable and there are dozens of baseball games scheduled. If I can teach the dog to fetch me towels and feed herself, I don't have to move at all.

Odds of this happening: 327:1


Elmo said...


Righteous Bubba said...

Really, the bassoon is not that hard to pick up. I mean, it's easier to play than pick up.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

OK, how is it that you and Jennifer can get rid of your offspring and mates like this?

I knew it. You're going to get together with J-lo and drink until your hearts are content.

Anonymous said...


You know, AG, it could be that our mates and offspring want to be free of us. :)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

A bassoon bit my sister once....