This was my weekend:
Friday afternoon
Leave work early. Pick up kids. Pick up neighbor kid. Meet neighbor and neighbor's kid at ballpark. Hit ground balls until kids whine. Hit fly balls until kids whine. Challenge kids to WIFFLE® Ball game. Play until kids whine.
Friday night
Make dinner for family and neighbors. Talk with adults at dinner table until kids whine. Watch baseball game on TV. Start watching "Hot Fuzz." Fall asleep to sound of kids whining.
Saturday morning
Wake up. Yell at kids to stop whining. Discover there's no coffee in house. Pitch fit. Watch Lovely Bride leave house. Go shopping. Put pork on barbecue.
Saturday afternoon
Write blog post about pickles. Throw handfuls of wood under pork on barbecue. Wish it was 5:00 p.m. Yell at kids to stop whining.
Saturday night
Welcome neighbors. Celebrate 5:00. Eat pork. Watch baseball game on TV. Start watching "Ghost Rider." Fall asleep to sound of kids whining.
Sunday morning
Wake up. Yell at kids to stop whining. Ask Lovely Bride to cook bacon. Eat bacon. Drink coffee. Read paper.
Sunday afternoon
Bring kids to watch neighbor's softball tournament. Listen to kids whine. Come home. Eat leftover pork. Watch baseball game on TV.
Sunday night
Watch "Donnie Brasco." Eat more leftover pork. Yell at kids to stop whining. Sleep.
Monday, August 6, 2007
I've Had Worse
Posted by Snag at 9:53 PM
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8 comments:
My God it's so true...the whining, whining, whining never stops!
But we've got baseball...'er...football, preseason is here...'er...fantasy draft is right around the corner.
And fuck Barry.
I need a Tums after reading this.
Ghost Rider? Dude, you have my pity.
I like the idea of setting Nicolas Cage's head on fire.
The problem, Snag, is that you had no Pickles in your weekend.
More Pickles! And Cowbell!
Hot Fuzz! It's everywhere!
"More Pickles! And Cowbell!"
!!!
Dude, you do know that whining is the punishment for premature ejaculation. At leas that's what my high school sex ed teacher told us.
Ha ha, AG.
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