Sunday, June 3, 2007

Sunday Morning Sausage Blogging

Besides democracy and Jet Skis, America is primarily known for its sausage. As important as that is to our national identity, however, we remain a federalist system, with the states playing an important role as meat laboratories. As we enter the summer months, prime sausage season, let us pause to pay homage to some regional delicacies.

1. Georgia Peach

The inspiration for the famed Aidells chicken and apple sausage, this down home favorite combines the lusciousness of ripe peach with the tart crunchiness of skink. Traditionalists prefer a hardwood casing, while the avant-garde of Buckhead's restaurant scene like to experiment with a variety of petroleum-based wrappings.

2. Down East Hot Tamale

A sausage still enjoyed in many of Maine's more isolated and well-armed coastal communities. Typically served in chopped form, this liver-based lobster byproduct is delicious sprinkled over pizza or angel food cake. When garnished with a porpoise, it is truly a mariner's delight.

3. Chicago Meat Pockets

When Carl Sandburg called Chicago the "City of Meat" he had in mind this hearty breakfast sausage. Composed of bacon, tripe, and mutton face, heavily seasoned with baking powder, and encased in nylon, it is the perfect beginning for a hot summer day. It is usually accompanied by a side of "cackleberries," the local term for whole boiled chickens.

4. Hang 'em High

Originally developed by the cowboys of the early 1950's, this treat remains a staple on soundstages throughout the Southwest. Partially deboned red squirrel, eucalyptus, and tin are layered over a graham cracker crust and baked in a kiln until the metal topping is bubbly and golden brown. It is often served with cheap English champagne.

5. Famous Potatoes

A product of the noted ant ranches of Idaho's gulf coast, this appetizer sausage has declined in popularity since the collapse of our country's domestic moose grinding industry. Nevertheless, many locals still look forward to February, the traditional month for enjoying this delicious medley of ungulate, potato, and mint. It may be eaten raw or lightly tarred.

It's often said that one shouldn't watch either sausage or laws being made. That may be true for laws, but anyone who spends time watching their local meat artist at work will come away with renewed sense of pride in our great nation. Let's hear it for the United States of Sausage!


teh l4m3 said...

But I thought *I* was the Mariner's Delight, down at the docks every night at 2 AM.

Snag said...

Oh Lord, teh, that's our boy.

Kathleen said...

It's posts like this that will keep our American sausage strong. If liberals had their way, we'd all be eating chorizo.

Anonymous said...


fish said...

Just the thought of that green tamale sausage makes me long for a Saltine.

Snag said...

Kathleen, you raise an important point. We need a strong sausage barrier along our southern border. Lou Dobbs demands it!

Anonymous said...

I hope you all rot in an unkosher jail.

Pork eating cobags! All of ya'.

Anonymous said...

Agreed, AG! Sheesh!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Mandos, were have you been?

Out at a Jews for Jesus convention?

Anonymous said...

Well, today I was passing through Pearson.