Thursday, March 13, 2008

City Mouse, Country Mouse

"How much for the quarter beef?"

"Two hundred when it's slaughtered. Another two when it's delivered."

"Do I get a discount if I slaughter it myself?"

"No."

"Can I slaughter it myself if I pay extra?"

"No."

"What comes with it?"

"Steaks. Roasts. Burgers. Short ribs, soup bones. We can make jerky if you want."

"What do you do with the organs?"

"We can deliver the liver, heart, and tongue."

"Can I get the gall bladder?"

"No."

"Lungs?"

"No."

"What do you do with them?"

"People can't eat them."

"Can't or don't?"

"Nobody does."

"I might."

"Doesn't matter. You can't have them."

"Okay. Got any chickens?"

"Yes."

"Ten?"

"Yes."

"Goats?"

"For milk or meat?"

"Both."

"No."

"Let's say a quarter beef and ten chickens. Can I get the chickens live?"

"No."

"Okay, a quarter beef and ten dead chickens."

"Alright."

"Done and done."

"Good enough."

11 comments:

Jennifer said...

"Can I slaughter it myself if I pay extra?"

You're one twisted puppy, Snag.

Mandos said...

"People can't eat them."

Bwuh? I find the concept gross, but my dad has eaten all kinds of crazy organ meats, lungs included. Back in the old country.

Is there a law, or are they getting a better price from the dog food company?

billy pilgrim said...

out-takes from Sweeney Todd?

Adorable Girlfriend said...

You and Coach P. really need to stay out of the butcher shoppes after practice!

mdhatter said...

re: lungs, eyes, etc.. meat

Haggis.

Mendacious D said...

Breakfast tomorrow at Snag's is going to be awesome.

billy pilgrim said...

....and messy

billy pilgrim said...

For some reason, the fact that I watched Hannibal the other night keeps coming to mind....

fish said...

C'mon kids! Daddy paid extra this year! Let's have some fun!

Kathleen said...

excellent on every level.

Snag said...

The negotiation is half the fun.