United Nations Of Moose

This blog was recently honored to host a somewhat disturbingly intense debate about moose conjugation. Guests included Kathleen, Billy Pilgrim, Mendacious D, fish, Brando, Chuckles, mdhatter, and Mandos. It was as if the Algonquin Round Table magically transported through time, with Jennifer echoing Dorothy Parker's little known interest in Alces americanus.

Beyond giving me perhaps more information than I needed about the psychology of my virtual friends, the discussion heped me realize how little we really know about Brother Moose. Earlier explorations of the glamour and despair that mark both sides of forest life only scratched the surface, failing to consider the role of moose around the world.


France
























The French Moose (sometimes referred to as the "Freedom Elk) has always played a large role in continental cuisine. With their delicate touch and devotion to the good things in life, they have traditionally been employed as sauciers in many of the country's Michelin starred restaurants.

Here we see Pierre waiting for his mistress at the annual Jerry Lewis film festival.


Japan

















Many are familiar with Tom Cruise's role as a fallen American introduced to the ancient traditions of the samurai. Less familiar is that these Japanese warriors have always been trained in the Way of the Moose by a silent and shadowy group of black-antlered monks.

In this rare photograph, Jiyuu, an Imperial Master, prepares for battle.


Tanzania
























As Bureaucrat of the Jungle, the African Moose is responsible for overseeing the administrative tasks related to the annual Great Migration of the Serengeti. His unmatched skill at watering hole politics makes him a feared predator.

Akida is shown here conducting inventory.


Germany



















Much of Germany's militaristic history can be attributed to die Elche. Trained from birth as ruthless and efficient killing machines, these bloodthirsty monsters leave behind nothing but tears and smoldering ash.

In this historic photograph, Elsa invades Poland.


Canadia


















Abundant natural resources and a long history of social welfare have created a vibrant Canadianan hospitality industry. Nevertheless, many remain unaware that Molson began as a backwoods distillery run by moose on the run from the prohibition era United States.

The Honourable Peter "Peaty" Boggs is shown at his swearing in as Minister of Beverages.