Friday, April 2, 2010

Flying Blind

"Do you want an earlier flight or a later one?" my assistant asked.

I shrugged. "An earlier one, I guess. What time does that get me back?"

"Saturday night, about 7:40."

"7:40? Why so late?"

"You have to change planes in Chicago."

"What if I take the later flight?"

"Then you have to change planes in Dallas."

"I hate changing planes," I said.

"Why?"

"Because it means I have to take off and land again."

"So?"

"I hate that part of flying."

"Do you like the rest of it?"

"No, I hate that too."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to die. At least not that way."

"The odds of a plane crash are so small it's not worth thinking about," she told me.

"Thank you, Little Miss Actuary."

"Seriously, why be afraid of something that unlikely to hurt you?"

"You were afraid of my lunch at the Chinese restaurant," I said.

"You ordered jellyfish," she said.

"I know," I said. "It was delicious."

"I wasn't afraid, I was repulsed," she said.

"Well, I'm repulsed by plane crashes," I replied.

She thought about my reasoning for a minute and then gave up.

"Anyway, you big baby, do you want the early or later flight?"

"Which one is T. on?" I asked. T.'s my colleague.

"He doesn't care," she said.

"Put us on the same one," I said.

"I can't."

"How come?"

"It's an organizational policy."

"What is?"

"You two can't be on the same plane."

"Why not?"

"In case it crashes."

8 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

She deserves a raise.

Jennifer said...

Because it means I have to take off and land again.

But those are the best parts!!! And, the bumpier, the better! Woo-hoo!!

Don't you dare even think of changing planes in Chicago unless your layover is long enough to say hello. I'll be the one crashing through security.

Mandos said...

I do that regularly (change planes at ORD). I've been through Chicagoso many times I can't count (even by car a couple of times), but I've never been to Chicago for some reason.

Substance McGravitas said...

Not believing that conversation. Too perfect.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

McGee, Snag is AN ATTORNEY. He is legally unable to MAKE THINGS UP.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Jennifer said...

Because it means I have to take off and land again.

But those are the best parts!!! And, the bumpier, the better! Woo-hoo!!
=========================

I fully support what Jennifer said, except that landing is kind of a let down when compared to the take off acceleration high.
~

Jennifer said...

Thundra- I used to like the landing the best, but as I've gotten older, would agree, the take off is more fun. They just need a longer runway so it lasts a little longer.]

Kathleen said...

I picture Snag making a little internal "that's going on the blog" hand gesture after the last line.