Monday, August 24, 2009

Black Is Black

Certain things I can buy without hesitation. Cereal. Books. Cars.

Other things, I can't pull the trigger. Entrées. Towels. And, as I discovered tonight, dishwashers.

"How many places are we going?" asked my oldest son.

"I don't know," I said grimly. We'd already been to Sears, Best Buy, Sears, Home Depot, Lowe's, Best Buy, and Home Depot. "I think there was a floor model at Lowe's we should look at again."

"What's wrong with you?" he asked.

"I hate spending money on stuff like this."

"Do you think anyone likes buying a dishwasher?" he asked, reasonably enough.

"I hate it more than most people."

"You hate most things more than most people."

Again, a reasonable point.

"What did you think of that Bosch?" I asked him.

"If you buy it, I'll never talk to you again."

"Why not?"

"You could buy me a car instead."

"Yes, but I won't buy you a car anyway."

"It's stupid to spend that much on a dishwasher. Our family is just going to break it anyway," he pointed out. "We break everything."

"We're horrible," I mused out loud.

"Yeah. That's why I'm moving to Australia as soon as I can," he said.

"Can I come?"

"No. Just buy a dishwasher and let's go home."

We made another stop at Lowe's and then Home Depot again, where I swallowed hard and picked out the model I'd first looked at five hours earlier.

"What color would you like?" asked the saleswoman.

I called the Lovely Bride. "Do you want to spend an extra $100 for stainless steel or should we go with black?"

"I don't want any more white appliances," she said.

"Neither do I," I replied. "That's why I said stainless steel or black."

"I don't know," she said. "I thought it was either stainless steel or white. I haven't factored in these other variables."

I scanned the store for ways to kill myself. There were a lot.

"You decide," she said, hanging up.

"You decide," I told the oldest.

"You're going to let your son decide?" asked the saleswoman.

"He's the only one in the family with any common sense," I said. He shrugged in resignation.

"Black," he said.

"Black it is," I told her.

Black it shall be.

23 comments:

Jennifer said...

"What color would you like?"

I'm surprised you didn't call ZRM for a consult.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

It's hurtful, it truly is Jennifer.

But I don't see why Snag should hate buying a dishwasher. I love it. Especially when the alternative is handwashing.

Which we did for years growing up. As my mother would say, why should we buy a dishwasher, when we spawned three perfectly good ones?

Say....Snag has three boys, doesn't he? why WOULD he buy a dishwasher?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

One Zombie's Opinion:

Post should be titled "Back In Black"

capcha is trying to be pollite about it.

fish said...

We bought the Bosch. The dishwasher is in the same room as the TV and we can run it without even noticing.

Snag said...

Black is black,
I want my baby back


Old school.

Jennifer said...

I knew that... I have that 45. Can't remember who sang it.

Jennifer said...

Los Bravos! Had it been the 1910 Fruitgum Company, I'd have remembered!

Did you know that Rick Springfield did a cover!?!? Argh.

Jennifer said...

I just read this description by a YouTube video:

Odds and Ends practicing their rendition of Black is Black, made famous by: Rick Springfield.

I wonder if Los Bravos knows that Rick was the one who made it famous...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

yeah, a Rick Springfield song ref is WAAAYYY cooler than AC/DC.

What was I thinking?

Pshaw. And hmpf.

Jennifer said...

It wasn't Rick! It was Los Bravos, which was cooler than AC/DC. Hmpf.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I am pretty sure Snag was thinking of the Rick version.

heh.

Jennifer said...

You're absolutely right. I stand corrected.

Snag said...

I didn't even know there was a Rick version until you two pointed it out.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

what, we're supposed to trust the word of a man who owns a Romantics CD?!?!

Snag said...

I own a Romantics song. There's a significant difference.

Jennifer said...

I didn't even know there was a Rick version until you two pointed it out.

Oh right Snag! Try to pawn it off on us... Claim your Springfield innocence!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Um, black never went out for this urban girl. Black was always in, even when they all said it was out.

Everyday is AG's trendy funeral...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I own a Romantics song. There's a significant difference.


OK, confession time. My HD has TWO Romantics songs.

In my defense:

1. They came with the Rhino "Just Can't Get Enough" compendium of one hit New Wave wonders. Which also includes "Pass The Dutchie".

2. "Talking In Your Sleep" is a pretty good power pop song.

3. So was "What I Like About You" until it was appropriated by every moronic frat-rat, cheesy bar band, hapless sports team, and lame beer advertising spot, making it MORE OVERPLAYED THAN STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN.

4. with 36,000 songs, there's a lot of questionable content on my HD.

5. It's not my fault.

6. At least I don't have any FRick Springfield.

7. (checking) Oh shit, I do so. Damn.

Snag said...

I do like Rick Derringer. And I've always had a soft spot for "Garden Party" by Rick Nelson.

Substance McGravitas said...

1. They came with the Rhino "Just Can't Get Enough" compendium of one hit New Wave wonders. Which also includes "Pass The Dutchie".

A HA!

We have fawnsine the likes of which even God has never seen.

Substance McGravitas said...

And I've always had a soft spot for "Garden Party" by Rick Nelson.

That one's good.

Never forget Rikki Rocket.

fish said...

My favorite is this.

It came in senth, which is somewhere between 7th and 10th.

Jennifer said...

DAMN! I clicked!