Tuesday, January 6, 2009

No Sweat

Besides resolving to do away with my children, I have a full plate of New Year's resolutions this year. Nothing as morally complex or entertaining as Brando's, of course, but still important to me.

1. Achieve a cholesterol level higher than my credit score.

2. Vote for Blue Girl at every possible opportunity.

3. Invent a word that rhymes with "orange."

4. Rise from the ashes.

5. Strip mine Helsinki.

6. Direct "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" with Annie Lennox and Carrot Top in the lead roles.

7. Run Bingo Night again.

8. Construct a robot moose.

9. Emit gold.

10. Win the lottery without dying.


Mendacious D said...

1. More foreclosures would probably help. Whose doesn't really matter at this point.
3. You can, in another language.
5. Just stay out of Norway. Stoorn would be angered.
6. If this were a film adaptation, Uwe Boll would direct it.
8. See 5.
9. You might just win the favour of your children with that one.

fish said...


fish said...

Marie-ange? (my favorite news caster...)

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I voted for BG. Do I get a Moosecicle for that?

I also voted for Sadly, No! Brad R. is single, people!!!

Chuckles said...

Death does put a crimp on lottery spendings.

Snag said...

Upon further research, this Marie Ange Nardi appears to be the French Walter Cronkite. Thank you, fish.

fish said...

Of course there are other newscasters in France that also have that Je ne sais quois...

Snag said...

Ah yes, Melisa, the John Chancellor to Marie's Cronkite.

Brando said...

The bad thing about emitting gold is that it's hell on your pores. The good thing is, when you use one of those nose strips, you can peel off that month's mortgage payment.

Righteous Bubba said...

Who is your Helsinki and can I watch?