Tuesday, September 16, 2008

When In Rome

Thursday I'm off to invade visit Canadia for a few days. With a meeting near the border anyway, the chance to spend some time away from my squalling brood was simply too tempting to resist.

But what should I do when I'm there? It would be a shame to visit such an exotic locale without experiencing some of the local flavor.

Thank goodness for the internet. Even though I missed the Cowsills concert, there are any number of unique options to consider.

I could look for smoked meat.

I could hang at the methadone clinic.

I could make change at a bank that's not in danger of imminent collapse.

I could go out for a nice poutine omelet.

I know! Beer Fest!! And it's sponsored by the Manitoba Moose Yearling Foundation!!!

Thank you, baby Jesus.

Bail bondsman willing, I'll see you soon.


NĂ¡mo Mandos said...

Lots of Canadian banks have giant Wall St. branches. CIBC (that's Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce, to you Americans, one of Canada's Big Five) may be in trouble, rumour has it.

Jennifer said...

You are coming back... right???

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

So much for your eligibility for public office.

Mendacious D said...

Should I dust off the couch? Put a few cases of Moosehead in the freezer?

(I was going to say something about beaver pudding but... no. Just no)

And remember, in Canada it is customary to tip your antler-scrapers.

Side note to rotten mcdonald: don't worry, you can still see America from here. If you must.

Righteous Bubba said...

I recommend you go to a different place in Canada. Somewhere else would be good.

Mendacious D said...

It's not Vancouver, I know that for sure. We have at least two methadone clinics.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

The friggin COWSILLS?!?

That's it. You're not invited to the Hemp Cabinet Meetings.

Righteous Bubba said...

The best place in Vancouver is La Casa Gelato by far.

Snag said...

You have to travel with the itinerary you have, not the itinerary you want.

Anonymous said...

Please give Ontario the finger for AG.

Thanks, Snagsbee.

Righteous Bubba said...

Don't skate drunk.

Jennifer said...

Don't skate drunk.


I can hear the news already...

Drunken man wearing nothing but skates and antlers was found on Canadian lake recently. He was holding a badger.

The man, unsure of who or where he was, kept repeating something about being allergic to plums and a moose in every pot...

Brando said...

If you can have the itinerary you love, love the itinerary you're with.

And everything goes well with a beer fest.

fish said...

"holding a badger"


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

so, earlier, Snag announces his candidacy for VP.

Then, yesterday he says he will be 'unavailable' for a short time. He uses CANADA as an excuse. Conveniently outside of the US.

During his rants, umm, comments, he uses a quote from Rumsfeld to explain his 'itinerary' and why he cannot meet our Canuckinoid friends.

Now, today John McCain has a presser in Minnesota.

I find it all a bit too neat. There are probably pornographic pumpkins involved, if not badgers.

The only thing I don't know is how the microwaves figure in. Excelsior!!

Jennifer said...

The only thing I don't know is how the microwaves figure in.

Maybe Snag, in his drunken/skating stupor, thought the microwave was a teleportation pod.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Breaking News:

Snag refusing to testify in the Plumgate scandal.

Pinko Punko's popularity plummets on Carpet remark.

Goldfish Crackers causing West Coast pregnancy wave. Prop 8 1/2 to outlaw selling crackers to women.

Chuckles said...

If you don't come back from Canada as a Persona Non Grata, you aren't doing all you can to further American Interests abroad.

In other news, I wouldn't mind furthering my interests on a broad.

That is just awful. Please flog me mercilessly. I ... am a horrible human being.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I am TOTALLY passing on the Chuckle flogging.

Jennifer said...

Isn't a Chuckle Flogging an Amish activity?

Kathleen said...

I am TOTALLY passing on the Chuckle flogging.

That's what she said.


zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Chuckle flogging is actually an old 18th century seafaring term.

Often, the Cabin boy would get into the rum and violate the livestock. When this happened, the boy would be covered in sticky rice and ataked out amongst the animals, who then licked his epidermis off. When they were finished, he would be dipped in the ocean for antiseptic purposes.

Chuckle Flogging.

Man, when Snag isn't around, this place goes right to hell, doesn't it?

Speaking of which, has anybody ever seen Henry "Hank the Yank" Paulson and Snag in the same room? Coincidence?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Total rampage.

Jennifer said...

Speaking of which, has anybody ever seen Henry "Hank the Yank" Paulson and Snag in the same room? Coincidence?

I was thinking the exact same thing... and did you see??? Paulson was wearing a badger lapel pin!

Total rampage, indeed!

Snag said...

I'd like to assure the American people that if I'm elected the term "beaver pudding" will only be used as a last resort and never by Chuckles.

Anonymous said...

a bit late, because of ye olde trippe of mine owne

you're going to see Lee Majors? in Canada?