Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Take 'Em To Work

One of the neighbor kids is job shadowing me tomorrow. I'd originally planned to show him what the more glamorous members of my profession do for a living but there are matters that demand my attention in the office. Lucky kid. Here's the tentative schedule.

9:3o - Pick him up. Discuss why main benefit of education is freedom to sleep in.

9:45 - Explain why screaming at other drivers is a form of yoga.

10:00 - Arrive at work.

10:05 - Ignore insults from others in office.

10:10 - Get coffee.

10:15 - Finish deleting spam.

10:30 - Return calls. Pray for voicemail instead of live person. Prayers go unanswered. Pretend to be interested in story about goiter.

11:00 - Look in desk for snacks.

11:10 - Debate nutritional merits of laab gai versus cheeseburger at lunch.

11:20 - Research nearby sushi bars.

11:30 - Leave for lunch.

1:00 - Return from lunch.

1:15 - Commence review of quarterly financials.

1:20 - Look in desk for snacks.

1:25 - Restock refrigerator with diet Coke.

1:40 - Check on number of hits received at blog. Discuss how genius is unnoticed during lifetime.

1:45 - Decide financials are adequate.

1:50 - Prepare lineup for youngest son's next baseball game.

2:10 - Check fantasy baseball stats.

2:20 - Commence work on organizational policy statement.

2:25 - Look in desk for snacks.

2:30 - Discuss how life is a series of disappointments.

2:45 - Check stock market.

2:50 - Decide financials may not be adequate.

3:00 - Turn off computer.

3:19: Arrive at wireless phone store.

3:20 - Commence argument over broken cell phone with customer service rep.

3:40 - Throw up hands in frustration and fling empty threats over shoulder.

4:00 - Arrive home.


Anonymous said...

Snag, I find the underreporting of Fantasy stats checking disturbing. If you are hiding that, what else is there????

fish said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
fish said...

4:15 Look in desk for bourbon.

Jennifer said...

I saw no mention of bourbon...

Duh, I just saw fish's comment, except it should have been, '

9:15 Look in desk for bourbon.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Snag, you ignore the insults?


I once had a tagalong on a day when I was meeting with Civil Engineers to discuss drainage of an 11 acre site.

150 minutes. Of drainage-talk.

I'm betting she found a different career path about three minutes after leaving the office.

Oh, and go with the cheeseboiger. Especially if you're going to spend 90 minutes on it.

And how do you get away with only deleting spam once a day? LUCKY!

Plus, ditch the Diet Coke and go with fish's Pepsi Max. It's got truckstop speed in it!!

How did the snack search go?

Kathleen said...

personally, I'm impressed with how much work you got done. I hope your family appreciates you.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Yep. That about sounds like my day expect I bang head and Blackberry on desk when micro managing co-worker talks to me.

Brando said...

Discuss how genius is unnoticed during lifetime.

I will be on the park bench next to you, muttering under my breath as I feed imaginary pigeons.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

.... without pants.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry more people don't read your blog, but I'm planning on using 'one more nail in the coffin of a day that was better off dead' and if my friends read you they would know I stole it.