Monday, February 5, 2007


When I am an old man, I shall wear tin foil
with a swimsuit that doesn't go, and creeps up.
And I shall spend my savings on crank and shower caps
and forks, and say we've no money for tea.
I shall lie down in the food court
and eat from dumpsters and howl at strangers
and walk naked along the avenues
and make up for the bad thoughts in my head.
I shall go out in my helmet in the snow
and dig in other people's gardens
and spit at cats.

You can wear a kilt and forgo bathing
and eat three heads of cabbage at a go
or only Tic Tacs and nickels for a week
and hoard liver and gunpowder and iodine and things in coffins.

But now we must wear clothes
and take our medicine and not swear at trees
and stay away from the children.
We must have meat for dinner and scream at the television.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear tin foil.

Thanks for the inspiration, K.O.


Anonymous said...

that was great. thank you.
it cut through everything
this morning-if only for a minute.

Anonymous said...

Good grief.

You better talk with mdhatter about the tin foil.

Anonymous said...

Tin foil would be awfully coooold in this weather.

Chuckles said...

Why is this popping up on the RSS feed for 3Bulls now?

Ah well, whatever, it is still good. I am going to be the dirtiest old man that all the strippers will find charmingly endearing and they will give me free dances. I will have a boat load of illegitimate children after I turn 101.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I'm looking forward to being a curmudgeon.

I'll sit on the front porch and yell at the damn kids to stay offa the damn grass, shaking my cane.

Oh wait. I do that now.