Mirror, Mirror

"Have you done your homework?" I asked my middle son.

"Yes. Stop bothering me," he said. "I'm watching a show."

"Turn off the damn television. You've got basketball tomorrow and I want to make sure you've got everything."

"Aaargh," he snarled. "Leave me alone."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Then don't talk to me like that."

My oldest scowled at us. "They should lock the two of you in a house for a month and make a reality show out of it."

"It would suck spending a month with him," said the middle boy.

"When I get a raise I can afford to have you killed," I told him.

"Nice parenting, dad," he replied.

"Why would you say something like that?" the Lovely Bride asked me.

"He's irritating," I said.

"You better be glad that's not a capital crime," she said.