Enemies

I’ve always thought a good way to begin a new venture is by compiling an enemies list. Here’s an excerpt from mine:

1. Corsetiers. I don’t trust ‘em. Never have, never will.

2. Serial killers. I’m willing to go public with this one, that’s how strongly I feel.

3. Penguins. Specifically crested penguins. Little bastards.

4. All those Yellow Pages™ wannabees.

5. Baby Spice. She looks innocent, sure, but she’s the Yoko Ono of the Spice Girls. I can’t forgive her for that.

6. Boys named Sue. Enough said.

7. Ann Coulter. You stole my heart Annie, and that's what really hurts.

8. This guy in the towel aisle at Target.

9. Marmaduke. Garfield could kick his ass.

10. Neocons.