Songs I Never Hated - Part 24

Where In The World Is Snag 2011 - Day 1

Where am I?

A. Yemen

B. Caught up in a hilarious case of mistaken identity

C. 523 steps from a hotel bar

D. Hoisted on my own petard

E. _____?

Civics Lesson

"I couldn't get my boarding pass to print this morning," my mother said.

"That's because you're on a no-fly list," I said.

"Don't be foolish," she said. "Why would I be on a list like that?"

"Because I informed on you?" I suggested.

"I'll need to get to the terminal early anyway," she said, ignoring me. "I imagine security will be increased because of recent events."

"You mean the NFL draft? I can see why Seahawks fans are upset, but I doubt they'll be storming the airport."

"No wonder your children don't listen to you," she said.

"Why would you want to go to Argentina anyway? Is it the next leg of your ongoing tour of the world's great dictatorships?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"Cambodia. Norway. Now Argentina."

"Argentina's a lovely country."

"So is Germany. Scenery isn't the only thing they've shared."

"Oh, stop it," she said. "Argentina has an elected government that's no worse than ours."

"Like that's saying much," I muttered.

"At least I can't be accused of having raised a Republican," she mused. Then, turning to her grandsons, she added, "Although I otherwise failed miserably with your father."

"It's not your fault, Grandma," said the oldest. "He's just that way."

"Yeah, nobody likes him," said the youngest.

"Anything to add?" I asked the middle boy.

"They're right," he said.

"Great," I told my mother. "You got the kids to finally agree on something."

"Democracy is about finding common ground," she said.

Songs I Never Hated - Part 23

Songs I Never Hated - Part 22

Little Helper

"What are you doing?" I asked, peering over my oldest son's shoulder.

"Nothing," he snarled, repositioning himself in front of the computer screen. "Go away."

"Hey, that's the University of Miami website!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands. "I'll help."

"No you won't," he responded. "You'll just be stupid."

"You're picking a roommate, aren't you?"

"Please go away," he said.

"Really, I'm good at this. What sort of questions do you need to answer?"

Resignedly, he let me read the screen.

"How come there's no place to write that your dad's going to be living with you?"

"See, you're already being stupid," he said.

"Hey, I'm paying for this."

"I got a scholarship."

"True," I admitted.

"And Grandma's helping."

"It's the least she can do, given how she treats me," I said. "Anyway, I'm still chipping in. Besides, it'd be fun to have me live down there. It'd be like 'Old School.'"

"You're going to take off your clothes and run through Miami?" he asked. "How would that be fun for anyone?"

"Don't be so suburban," I said.

"Mom, can you make him leave me alone," he yelled.

"Then he'll just bother me," the Lovely Bride called back from downstairs.

"But he's driving me crazy," said the boy.

"That's why you're going away to college," she said. "I'll still be stuck here with him."

"You're right," he said. "Sorry mom."

"Does that mean I get to help you?" I asked.

"Only if you'll be normal."

"Where's the box to check if you want a cheerleader for a roommate?" I asked.

"I heard that!'" the Lovely Bride snapped.

"Looks like you'll be rooming with Lucy tonight," the boy smirked. Hearing her name, the dog ran over and started gnawing on my arm.

"C'mon girl, let's go streaking," I told her. "Here we come, sweetie!" I shouted to the Lovely Bride, jogging downstairs.

"Three more months," the boy muttered to himself.

Songs I Never Hated - Happy Easter Edition