Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Not A Prayer

"That's why they call it faith," the Lovely Bride was saying as I walked in the door.

"That's why I call it stupid," said my middle son.

Nothing like coming home to a conversation about religion.

"What's three times twelve?" blurted out my youngest. We all turned to look at him.

"Never mind," he said. "I remember."

"Are you serious?" asked my oldest. "That's your math homework?"

"Just a little bit of it," said the youngest, somewhat defensively.

"What else do you have to do?" I asked. "Count to fifteen without removing your socks?"

His brothers laughed. Not the Lovely Bride.

"Stop it," she warned me.

"Come on," I said. "This is advanced math?"

"It's part of a bigger problem," said the youngest.

"Oh, just like you," I said.

His brothers laughed again.

"You two are the rest of the problem," I told them.

"Don't you have somewhere to go?" the middle boy asked me.

"Someone told me to go to hell today," I said. "So here I am."

"You told us he had to work longer hours at his new job," the oldest said to the Lovely Bride.

"That's what I thought," she said wistfully.

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family," I sang.

"He's not really our father, is he?" the middle boy asked his mother.

"Oh ye of little faith," I said.

13 comments:

Jennifer said...

So... sounds like even with the new job, things are pretty much the same. :)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...


"He's not really our father, is he?" the middle boy asked his mother.


This all cries out to be put into a book.

You remind me of Ring Lardner, Snag.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I do not believe in this post.



WV: berate.

Vonnie said...

Just once, I'd like to have dinner at your house. Just once.

Smut Clyde said...

"That's why they call it faith," "That's why I call it stupid," Nothing like coming home to a conversation about religion.

Be fair -- they could have been talking about sports. Or politics.

Brando said...

"Someone told me to go to hell today," I said. "So here I am."

I am definitely using that at the next family get-together.

Substance McGravitas said...

Just in case, 35. (Cheated and used the calculator.)

Substance McGravitas said...

Whoops! 36!

Hamish Mack said...

There is an underlying details to what Snag writes that is really captivating.

SMcG we call it 34 down here. No need for fancy schmancy numbers

Kathleen said...

37!!!!! I'm not old!

Kathleen said...

"You told us he had to work longer hours at his new job,"

LOL

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I'd like to have dinner there too, Von. The thing is though, what would he serve? I suspect it's not compliant with Lent. Or Passover.

Snag, I post some love photos for you at EoTS. Hate to bother, but if you have a minute to spare...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

This is what comes to mind:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KL0kLAwI84