Friday, May 8, 2009

My Life In Movies

"Have you seen 'Marley and Me' yet?" my mother asked not long ago.

"No. I haven't seen anything recently besides youth sports and the bottom of a whiskey bottle," I replied.

"I think you'd enjoy it," she said.

"Whiskey?" I asked. "I do."

"No, the movie."

"My friend R. told me it wasn't realistic," I said. "Apparently the family members in the movie like each other."

"That's not unrealistic."

"Sure," I said. "If it makes you feel better, tell yourself that."

She ignored me. "I did have trouble accepting that anyone would keep a dog that behaved like that."

"Really?" I asked. "Why is that so hard to believe?" Our dog Lucy that moment to jump on her. My oldest son dragged Lucy away to a corner, where she howled and scrabbled for escape.

"A dog that chewed up the wall and the floor? Who would put up with that?"

I waved at the holes in our kitchen drywall and floor.

"What normal family would put up with that?" she corrected herself.

"Why do you think I like whiskey?" I asked.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

This might help with your dog, Snag.


Snag said...

It would sure help Zombie with his orange,leaky-ass dog.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I don't get it. The information at That link doesn't seem to help a zombie survive at all.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You need to think outside the litter box, ZRM.

We must always be forward thinking!

Righteous Bubba said...

"Why do you think I like whiskey?"

Less filling.