Pride Of The Neighborhood

The Lovely Bride and my hellish brood will be away for the weekend, leaving me with nothing but despair. That said, I'll have to find a way to fill my empty hours. Although I'm not yet sure how I'll do that, these are some of the things I'm considering:

1. Books

There are many great books I haven't read: "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius; "New Poems" by D.H. Lawrence; "Praise of Idleness" by Bertrand Russell. I could while away the hours in their company, sipping tea and listening to the Brandenburg Concertos with Katie the Wonder Dog at my feet.

Odds of this happening: 1:250,000

2. Museums

I am within reasonable driving distance of any number of great art works, both modern and classical. Picasso, Rembrandt, Close, Asian sculpture, woven folk art, it's all there in front of me. I could float from gallery to gallery, stopping only for respite at one of the delightful cafés along the way.

Odds of this happening: 1:97,000

3. Theater

I love theater. This weekend I have choices ranging from Noël Coward to "a raw look at what sexual violence and pornography are, and how they function in people's lives in a male-centric society." All of it compelling and rich.

Odds of this happening: 1:5,000

4. Live Music

I don't see nearly enough live music anymore. This weekend we've got your classical, your alt-rock, your alt-country, your country-alt, your jazz, your prog, your classic rock, what the hell, you've probably got the Beatles playing somewhere.

Odds of this happening: 1:100

5. Sitting On Ass

I have a full liquor cabinet and a full refrigerator. I own fifteen movies I haven't watched. I pay for premium cable and there are dozens of baseball games scheduled. If I can teach the dog to fetch me towels and feed herself, I don't have to move at all.

Odds of this happening: 327:1